Go Seahawks!

Monday Morning
Originally uploaded by timoth.

Finally, it may have been definitively proven that I am not the sole cause of losses to the professional sports teams I follow.

Congratulations Seattle Seahawks! I am all “ver-klempt” for you! Sunday’s game may be the only football game I’ve ever watched (almost) in entirety! I cried when it was over!

I am the ULTIMATE fair-weather fan, I admit it. But, it just goes to show what an historic, incredible, mesmerizing thing the Super Bowl will be this year.

I worried that my watching the BIG GAME between Seattle and Carolina last Sunday would cause Seattle to lose, and that would have been a great burden to bear. You see, I have a painful history of causing teams to lose. I would guess my viewing-a-loss ratio at 85%. Those kinds of odds can’t be an accident.

Out of concern for the then-maturing Seattle-sports organizations, I withdrew from fan participation in 1995, when the Mariners lost to the Cleveland Indians in the bid to get to the World Series. I was at that last game. I wanted it too much. And Seattle lost.

I was in despair. It was the only time in my life I was actually interested in a professional sports team. That alone jinxed the poor Mariners.

Sorry.

Yesterday, Sunday, I was uncharacteristically interested in the Seahawks game. I carried my book and a couple of beers into the family room so I could read and drink while Bruce watched the game beside me. Things were going great for Seattle! They were unstoppable! Then, at almost the exact moment I finally set my book aside to focus on the game, Carolina got their first touchdown.

ANATHEMA!

Dog-gone it! That’s what my team got for winning my attention! Fortunately, they were so dominant that day, my powers were ineffectual. Thank heaven.

Perhaps, being in Alaska, my ability to jinx is diminished by the many miles of mountains and water between myself and Seattle. Maybe this is the only safe place from which I can safely watch professional sports.

They won! That is the important thing! What an exciting game! I’m so happy for Seattle!

……

Oh geez. I just realized what happened. I KNOW WHY Providence let the Seahawks win! Something had to give in the cosmos to make it possible. It all makes sense now. A price had to be exacted.

The first concession: Bruce will be in Vicksburg, MISSISSIPPI for a work-related class on Super Bowl Sunday. He, Jack, and I will not be able to share Super Bowl experience together. Sure, he’ll be able to watch the game, but from MISSISSIPPI of all places! The west-coast of the United States of America will be a distant memory! Maybe he’ll forget about the game all together in preference for poling through a gator-infested swamp.

Hmmm.

The other tragic thing is that my mother will miss the game entirely, as she is scheduled to be on an airplane on Super Bowl Sunday – AT THE EXACT TIMES OF THE GAME! What are the odds? Really?! She will be returning to Seattle after a last-minute, week-long visit with ME, that she only scheduled because I whined and complained about how Bruce is going to MISSISSIPPI for two weeks (to pole through a gator-infested swamp). And my mother truly loves football!

See?

I am a traitor to my own family. I am ashamed.

This is what I will do….

1) I will HOST a Super Bowl Party even though Bruce won’t be here. 2) I will actually WATCH the Super Bowl this year, even if it means completely ignoring the children to do so. 3) I will ROOT and JUMP and YELL at the appropriate moments (taking my cues, of course, from my Super Bowl Party guests). 4) I will bring the football-fan spirit to my household in the absence of my mother and husband.

Isn’t that a good idea!?

(I just hope I don’t jinx the game.)